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BREAKING: Local Vezina Winner Viciously Attacked By Gay Cowboys

Discussion in 'Articles' started by levans70, Jan 22, 2021.

  1. levans70

    levans70 New Member

    Aug 19, 2020
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    Well here we are, my first write up (again, because I accidently closed the page half way done). These always seemed like fun, but unfortunately I was too tied up last season losing by 5 and seeing which of me and SBDR could smoke ourselves into a vegetable-like state first during the games. But that's in the past, and I'm moving forward into S18 with my favorite camping buddies, the Brokeback Mountaineers! Let's go around the room!

    First up, our starting G, Leg-....I mean Curdogg!

    At RD, the best Frenchy on the team, I Lappy I

    At LD, he's the 1 bod with the small rod, Bobby Banner

    At RW, back from the 239 graveyard, it's Thamps

    At LW, our fearless leader and everyone's favorite cowboy, Mashotpa (seen here in a post-draft team meeting)

    And finally, at C, yours truly, Mr. Overpaid Levans70
    (CrazyYeti is also on the team but he was too busy jerking himself off over free Timmy's coffee for the week)

    Both teams entered the night with a 2-1 record after their opening series. After a big night by his center Nik, Fwam did the logical thing and shipped him off for assets, one of which he would then use to flip for Jehtie, the part-time rookie sensation. Proving he's willing to do whatever it takes to make former-XBS players hate their lives for 2 seasons in a row. Well done sir (it's actually a good acquisition but don't tell him I said that)

    In all seriousness though, some core pieces from Fwam's last team are back again, most importantly, our lord and savior Bcripps. With a 2-1 record, goalie Jesus between the pipes, a center actually worth 40 bods this time, and some other fresh faces ready to play even though they didn't realize they were on the team at first, Fwam set off at the helm to steer his team to victory, until....

    Game 1:
    The teams come out slow trying to figure each other out before Mash does Mash things in the 2nd burying 2, and Thamps delivers the cherry on top with a minute to go making it 3-0. Noticing how close we were to a shutout, it was only right we allow Fwam to slop one in 30 seconds later, gotta keek Curdogg's massive ego in check ya know. But regardless, round 1 goes to the Mountaineers. Let's now go live to Bcripps reaction to his team being heavily outshot and unable to provide goal support:

    Game 2:
    Anderson has had enough and strikes first in the first period giving his team the lead, but the Mountaineers answer big time with a 3 goal 2nd period. Now things get interesting. Captain Fwam takes over scoring 17 seconds into the 3rd and then tucking another to tie the game. Not to be outdone, Mash follows up with one of his own to give the boys a lead but Fwam isn't done yet tying it once again. With less than 30 seconds to go, a broken play has the puck find its way to Thamps behind the net, who curls out to the front before dishing an absolute beauty straight across to levans for the W. 2-0 Mountaineers. A tougher battle to be sure, but that TOA difference tho. Let's check back in on the Benchwarmers again going into game 3:

    Game 3:
    By now the Benchwarmers had discovered our true weakness, our shit powerplay. Fwam's defensive system was fully activated here with his team taking 7 penalties throughout the game, resulting in 2 separate 5 on 3s in the 3rd period. They also decided to get creative in the zone implementing the legendary "5 men, 1 puck" strat seen here:

    Photos taken moments before disaster ^

    The result though is another nail biter won on the powerplay in the dying moments of the 3rd as captain Mash strikes again on the 5 on 3 to give his team the 3-2 win and the sweep. Come on in fellas we're done here

    All in all, great series Benchwarmers. If Bcripps can keep this up and the new additions get settled in, this team can hang and bang. The Mountaineers start next week in an early battle for 1st against the NDA, per sources of course.

  2. Young Kelch

    Young Kelch Well-Known Member Admin

    Nov 22, 2017
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    Good writeup sir! Keep’em coming we love writeups
  3. That 1 odd guy

    That 1 odd guy Well-Known Member Admin

    Aug 14, 2017
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    Great write up levans. Enjoyed it.

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