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Dark Side bring out the brooms and sweep Jaboofy and the Fakes

Discussion in 'Articles' started by ImN0tEvenG00d, Mar 18, 2022.

  1. ImN0tEvenG00d

    ImN0tEvenG00d New Member

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    First round of the playoffs pits THE NUMBER ONE SEED Dark Side vs the Mash-led 8th seed Wrestling Is Fake. A series that has elite talent on both teams, too bad only one team showed up.
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    ITS NOT FAKE. But your team is.

    Prior to this series kicking off, Veds was constantly talking shit about “sweeping the dark side.” Will the 39 bod veds show up? Will Jaboofy make another appearance? Can Mash hard carry? The answers are no, yes, and no….respectfully.

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    Me laughing in my DMs with Mash and Veds telling me they’re gonna sweep us.

    Game One
    After a regular season sweep by the dark side the series before the playoffs, we had a strong feeling they would try and switch their lineup up because they fucking sucked and couldn’t do shit vs us. So we see Dishitasized switch with Yam to cover me, Jaboofy “I’m gonna cook Ace Soul” switch to RW, and Disnub at C while Mash stays at LW. Our game plan doesn’t change at all as we know to just stay on Mash’s hip and leave the points wide open and it’s gonna be easy Dubskies.

    The Dark Side kick off the scoring in the first from a Jon to Dutch to me play to make it 1-0. WIF does a lot of nothing because they fucking suck, as late in the Second Dutch passes it to me to put the Dark Side up 2-0.
    Dark Side continue to play a solid team defense and clog the middle as the desperate WIF just keep forcing passes left and right to no succession. However, Jaboofy gets a gift and flicks up on a loose puck and scored to make the game 2-1 late in the third. But, don’t worry, they’re awful so Dark Side win game 1 2-1.
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    WIF about to fly off the suck meter this series
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    Superstar making 14 out of 15 saves.

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    Veds getting that mouth ready for the club after the sweep
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    Mash angry that he has to play virtual hockey rather than getting laid on vacation.

    Game Two
    Dark Side knew that WIF was rattled so it was important to put it on HARD this game. BUT, EA does it’s patented rocket puck bounce that finds the cherry picking mash at our blue line with the easiest breakaway of his life and puts WIF up 1-0. I. WAS. PISSED. So it was time to go psycho and take over the game. Off the faceoff Cougs gets it up to me, I absolutely fake Dishitasized out and snipe Zero Pain from the high high high slot Blueline slot to get the game tied. Then a minute later Cougar finds the back of the net from Dutch and Ace to make it 2-1. Our confidence was high and our blood pressures were boiling as we come out and absolutely murder WIF in the third. I kept coning the overpaid Dishitasized as we score 4 goals in the third and make the final score 6-2.
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    Dishitasized getting coned all series by me.

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    Zero asking where the F is his defense
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    Jaboofy all series cause he’s a fucking terrible player.

    Game Three

    This was a HUGE meltdown by the WIF. I mean, being down 2-0 is bad enough, but like you guys still have a chance right? It’s not like over over right? You can still come back…….right? FUCKING WRONG. What a shitshow this game was. Veds and mash playing like total garbage. I mean mash is the hart finalist? Guy has 2 points??? Cougar making him his bitch??? Mash went to Center to try and shake things up but that was horrible as the floodgates were open. Dark Side Win 6-0. WIF had 5 shots….. pathetic team.

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    WRESTLING IS REAL.
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    Veds getting CLAMPED by Ace Soul
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    Jaboofy trying to leave the ice…. And the party after game 3.

    Game 4
    I’ll make this short and sweet cause I’m bored. It was a good game but Dark Side complete the sweep and won 4-3 in OT. In all honesty, this wasn’t even a challenge. WIF are ass.

    Series Recap:
    Dutch 4G 12A
    Jon 2G 10A best series as a skater to date. Hell of a series.
    Good 11G 5A
    Ace Soul clamped Veds and Mash= confirmed
    Cougs is the best D in the world. On and off the ice
    Superstar GIVE THIS GUY THE VEZINA

    WIF:
    Veds tries to do too much when he isn’t that type of player. 39 bods of shit hockey all series. Can’t make a solid pass, can’t take a solid shot, can’t do anything worth remotely close to 39 bods.
    Mash was Hart-less. Guy played like dogshit. Can he carry? No. Does he need Wizzy? Yes. Better luck next season.
    Dishitasized is shit. Guy got worked by me all series. 29 bods for terrible defense. Left him wide open all series cause he does the same thing over and over again. Get better kid.
    Yam, zero, disnub, you guys played great. Sorry your elite talent Mash, Jaboofy, and Dishitasized couldn’t live up to their bod totals.

    Dark Side take on HOF and the 6th seed Inductees next week.

    Until next time, the Emperor is OUT

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    DrugMonkeyRX and FeenixxRising like this.

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