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Down goes Goliath!!! Illamanatis shock the 239 community

Discussion in 'Articles' started by ImN0tEvenG00d, Aug 25, 2023.

  1. ImN0tEvenG00d

    ImN0tEvenG00d New Member

    Apr 20, 2021
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    Welcome to the 239 DDos season. It seems that every series is enduring multiple lagouts while having series finish around 1am instead of the normal 1130. Well NOT TONIGHT!!! Tonight’s series would only go to around 1230am which is a 30 minute improvement!!!!

    The Illamanati players received a care package from their captain, it included the best 1GB routers money can buy, and Ethernet cables to direct connect to every device they own. Here at the Illamanati, we don’t take chances, we protect ourselves. I put Ethernet cables in every device I own. My CPU, my laptop, Xbox, Smart TV, hell I even shoved a cable up my ass so I NEVER Disconnect. Try me mother fuckers.

    Anyway, the only matchup tonight was between the Illamanati and CLIT (Goodie vs Lemanski) in a battle some say was David vs Goliath.

    All pre-season and early games had Lemanskis team being the top dogs. “Omg they’re so good just give them the belt now,” “best roster ever,” “how can they lose?”
    Idk about you guys, but I’ve just about had it listening to these fake clowns thinking that they’re the best team this season. They haven’t played the Illamanati yet so…….

    Yeah I stirred shit up in chat on Thursday. Fuck em. How do you motivate a team after they got swept? You show them you have their backs. THATS WHAT GOOD CAPTAINS DO.
    I’m not gonna talk bad about my team. I wouldn’t say that Rawb and Gala forgot how to defend simple break outs and gave up 25 breakaways in 3 games. I wouldn’t say that sports and Ozzy forgot how to pass and shoot and skate and do anything useful on the ice. I also wouldn’t say that skull couldn’t save even the most blatantly obvious hockey play shots and stay between the pipes during shots. See I’m not gonna say any of that because that’s not what a good captain does. Instead we talked out some issues and we made it our duty to fix this and bounce back against the “best team in the league”


    Game One started off with the Illamanati just completely dominating the Smelly CLITS. Puck possession and creativity were at an all time high. There was no answer from “the greatest team to ever be assembled.”
    But of course there had to be a “lagout” from Lemanskis team and restarts would happen until a waiver was used. It didn’t matter, Lemanskis team sucks and got destroyed 402-7.
    With all the lagouts happening (from Lemanskis team) we decided to shut the stream off and try and just finish the series with the actual lineups.
    Game 2 started again with a total domination of the game of hockey and again after being down 2-0 after 1, they had another “lagout”. We restarted and got through another period which had the Llamas up 5-1 with another “lagout” happening.
    At this point, Lemanski and freak are about to end it all and just jump, so they forfeited to stop the damage being done to their extremely high ego “best team in s29.”
    CLIT doing the only thing they can do after being embarrassed.

    Lemanski gets a waiver for game 3 and at this point we felt really bad for them. Like how can the best team in the league get shit stomped by a team who just got swept? I thought they were supposed to steam roll through the league and take no prisoners. How on earth are they losing???

    So we did what any team would do. We let them win, simple as that. We aren’t about being an accessory to multiple suicides. So we allowed them a bit of hope and gave them a regulation win to save their fragile egos.

    series recap:

    - CLIT is not as good as everyone paints the picture of them to be.
    - Illamanati can bounce back from being swept.

    I’m proud of my team.

    Last edited: Aug 25, 2023
    DrugMonkeyRX likes this.

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