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Pierre McGuire's 239 Captains Breakdown (1/2)

Discussion in 'Articles' started by x mR aNdersoN o, Apr 13, 2021.

  1. x mR aNdersoN o

    x mR aNdersoN o Active Member Admin

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    ALRIGHTYYYY 239 homies that’s another season in the books. Season 18 concluded last Thursday with NDA led by the Captain/GM duo of Dmart and Dom Silva taking home the coveted 239 WWE Belt with a cast of 239 vets 4-1 over Hergys Chinese Finger Traps. Congrats to Dmart, Dom, Dub, Wizzy, Eso, Lime, Cortez, Figo, Ability, Agent and Zlow on a great season, proving yet again the vets can still wipe out all the new kids on the block.

    Enough about them though, they're all off on vacation until season 20 and we have a Season 19 Draft one week away!

    With a new season comes a brand-new list of captains. A new list of Captains means another cameo from the hockey-savant-creepy-fuck known as PIERRE MCGUIRE
    [​IMG]

    Hi there, Pierre here back again to tell you how much useless shit I know about people in 239. Want to know what Kelch had as toys when he was 6? Pierre’s got you covered. He had none. Need to know what Cob’s mom made him for dinner on his 9th Bday? Pierres got you again, it was Poutine. Jonmonkeys kindergarten GPA? 4.0. Need someone to be awkward and creepy and not know when to shut up? Clearly Pierre’s got you covered. Want a Season 19 Captains Breakdown? PIERRES FAWK’N GOT YOU, HERE WE GO

    (In case your new, this is your S19 Captains, their player strengths, draft prediction and NHL Comparable)
    PART 1 of 2
    Ozzy9041 – Ozzy is a 239 vet and will draft a team that has him at RW. Ozzy is a potent offensive force with good moves and good scoring ability. Likes to fly up the wall and look for moves into the middle to get his shit off. I think Ozzy goes with mostly known commodities and other vets in the draft. Look for Ozzy to get himself a solid G and a running mate at C.
    NHL Comparable: Chris Kreider

    Young Kelch/Ian - Ian is the GM of the team. Thank god cause Kelch is dumb. You won't see Ian this year on ice but he will make sure Kelch doesn’t fuck it up. Kelch is now a LW after a few months grind to get better. He has thumbs to make up for his Texan hockey IQ. A good facilitator of the puck on the cycle and defensively strong at the wing position. He can aslo LD where he hits with the best of them. Kelch builds good teams, look for him to build a balanced team with one potent scorer to carry the O.
    NHL Comp: Tom Wilson (Kelch). Mike Milbury (Ian)

    Master Shotgun – Another 239 vet and multiple time captain. Shotty’s best position is G. We all know, so does he, BUT do not sleep on him at skater if he puts himself there. Shotty is solid positionally after watching from the pipes all those years. Reliable 2way game. He has aggression on net drives and will finish. I think shotty will throw his bods at one of the more expensive players in the draft and then go BPA/BDealA. He’ll have a mix of new and old blood.
    NHL Comp: Marc-Andre Fleury

    The Thomahawk – Thommy I would expect to be one of the stronger Captains this season. Another vet to 239 and will know the player pool fairly well to get himself deal. Thommy is a versatile player but best on the Wing. Solid 2way game and finisher. Has pretty good moves to get through crowded areas and maintain the puck. I would guess Thommy goes for mostly vets that he has chem with maybe 1-2 hot new toys to complement.
    NHL Comp: Ryan O’Reilly
     

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    Ian The Berean and Young Kelch like this.
  2. x mR aNdersoN o

    x mR aNdersoN o Active Member Admin

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    Shot off* for Ozzy not shit lol
     
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