Its mere minutes from Season 19 puck drop. The boys are all warming up the thumbs, the chat is scrolling over my 300 @everyones posted today and everybody’s least favorite NHL and 239 Analyst Pierre McGuire has finally arrived with his Season 19 Week 1 Power Rankings Pale Pwnr apparently fired himself from Power Rankings, Marine Mike made a mockery of his last year, so I, Mr Pierre-Smartest-Of-All-time McGuire have been hired back to rub my crystal balls and predict the best teams this season. Fresh off getting 80% of S18 preseason rankings right; here’s probably a disaster prediction for this season for ya; SEASON 19 POWER RANKS 1) Young Kelch/Ian Shoutout Pale for being #1 again. It is a tradition I find funny enough to roll with. All jokes aside this team is very good. Kelch once again drafted a team where he’s the worst player on the team. A big W. They have 2 great Dmen, a great G and a stud on F in Pale. Cee is as good as it gets at #2 F. There are no holes here. 2) Nicky Patts Nicky drafted himself arguably the best 1-2 punch on the blue line. He also has very aggressive forwards who can put the puck in at ease in Sbdr and Blk7. Nicky is solid himself on the dots and recently acquired goalie Jsquad was a waiver wire gem more than capable of starting in net. If Jsquad can hold down the fort when tested this team is stacked otherwise. 3) Cob13 Cob went out and got pretty much everyone he wanted on draft night minus one guy. This is a squad that has a great 1-2 punch on the backend and has 3 forwards all with chemistry together and good puck skills. The puck gets one touched all over and all 5 skaters can beat their man 1on1. The question mark is if relatively unknown Grateful Venom and old as shit ILF Legion can carry the weight in net. If so this will be a top team. 4) Master Shotgun Shotty drafted himself a low-key contender. Sticking with theme, the defense on this team is very solid with Ziggy and Upshall. Then, in my opinion Surpriseme22 is paired up with two very underrated mates at forward in Shotgun and Fwaming. Those who dislike this placement likely are sleeping on the F line, but don’t, they can hang. Then, the sleeper on the team is Flashpoint in net who is very solid back there, an absolute draft steal. 5) Danglez x10 Danglez went out and drafted himself a real solid team from top to bottom. Hall of Fame leads the team on the backend alongside the Captain himself. There will be some rotation going on at F but the core led by AT43 and OwenWilsonsNose along with xxjonx and Jehtie makes for a formidable group more than capable of putting up some goals. The real reason this team is Top 5 is the recent acquisition of Lebronto to play G. He’s a beast in the pipes. 6) The Thomahawk Thommy’s team I have considered since #4. They easily could be higher but find ultimately land here at 6. The F line is fantastic with Sauce on Rw, old timer Nik on LW and Levans and Iont Get Tired splitting time on C. We all know Levans is sick, but Tired has really impressed me on the dots when given the chance to play there. The reason for this team slipping a bit is Barrett and his G1 rule. Barrett and Sniper on D is a nice unit but game 1’s could be iffy and changing lines for G2/3 is tough. 7) Ozzy9041 Ozzy went into the draft and got himself the reiging defending MVP and winner of pretty much every award last season in Mashotpa. From there he seemingly had no clue what he was doing but somehow ended up with a talented team that should put it together eventually. They are sort of Brokeback 2.0. Stacked on F and G. If the D plays well, they go far, if not then well Clancy will have to carry the team. 8) Disnub The battle for 8th is going to be a tight one, lots of good teams in the 6-10 range. Disnubs team I think gets themselves the final spot. Nub went with familiar faces that will play together in club often and build on that chem all season. Oddguy and Gyneman lead a solid back end, Dualism could be a vezina candidate goalie this season. Nub and sloth have good chem and Zubov/Krimson are nice on the dot to round out a very balanced team top to bottom. 9) Knifeinyourguts Knife went with the NDA route of getting all the PT players in the pool and rolling out 300 possible line combos. Admittedly this team could be ranked higher oif I knew what the hell his lines were but this team has enough talent in guys like Abutt, Skoden and Zero Pain that they aren't going to be terrible. If they find some consistency and chem look for these guys to climb the power rankings in the future. 10) LL Cool Sam Of the teams ranked outside the top 8 this is my sleeper to be the next Doras Backpack and make a run at it from nowhere up towards the top. My concern with this team is there is no superstar player. However they do have Tribe and Kaberle both of whom are very good and know the “meta” plays that work in this game. If Sam can have a vezina candidate season, and the secondary guys mesh well with Tribe and Kabs then this team could be a playoff team. 11) Jonmonkey Jon went out and drafted himself a team full of 239 vets. This worked well for Dmart last season winning it all with old timers. The issue I see here is nobody is a star player outside perhaps maybe Swagg at wing if he can keep up last seasons pace. Drug at C is solid but he wont score a ton. With Drug sitting back at C can Sober and Jonmonkey score enough if teams take out Swagg? They don’t have a top paid dman like most teams to aid the scoring. My guess will be no and that they struggle a bit this year. A trade for scoring help would go a long way. Schielf in net is no slouch though so he’ll have to step it up for these guys. 12) Gala Gala actually went out and executed the strategy we all joked about... and took like every Goalie on the board. He did make some post draft trades and got YoungBuffalo from Danglez in exchange for one of his 12 G’s. Expect more trades from Gala in the future as I don’t think this team has scoring punch or good chemistry positionally. For now they sit in the basement, we’ll see if Gala can trade his way into a playoff spot by the end.