Season 13 Pre-Season Ratings

Well hello there. Whether you've wanted to hear from me or not, here I am. This time around, I'm not going to be ranking teams in order of 1st -11th. I will be ranking the forward, defensive and goalie lineups. IF THERE IS SOMEONE I DO NOT KNOW, I will add that to my assessment and make it be known so it's not just "well Cortez, you fucking suck. You don't know our team." so hold your britches and we'll figure it out. ALSO, this may have two parts. Probably because of post character limit.

Anyway, we've done this before and we'll do it again. We'll be ranking the forward, defense and goalie line-ups with a letter grade. Let's get started.

Teams will be rated off of
- Talent
- Potential lineups

TEAMS WILL NOT BE RATED OFF OF
- Team defense
- Team offense
(your overall rating will be affected by team defense and team offense)

This is solely based on the forward line, defensive line, and goaltending.

Surpriseme22's squad
MrBinxx - Pogs - Supriseme22
ReV Hellcat/Trocity - YoungBuffalo88/Hamburgluar421
xilfxLegion

Offense: B+
Defense: B-
Goalie: C+
Overall: B-

So, it's no "surprise" (pun intended) that this forward lineup will work. MrBinxx being a rookie here that goes for 35 BOD will be on the never-ending forward lineup of Pogs and Surpriseme. If Surpriseme spent the money on Binxx, you can bet there's something here we don't know. I only give this offense a B due to not knowing Binxx, but if he flows as well as his BOD number suggests, this offense is a B+ to an A- easy. With defense, this team will struggle unless ReV Hellcat is in the lineup. With her being PT, I'm not sure how this team will do. Legion can be a stud in net and hope he proves my C+ rating wrong. I've seen him do well multiple times and think he can help the team out on the back end.


Pale's squad
MacNorth - PalePwnr - AC09DC
Tompkins/WhousedalltheTP - xD A L Y
BCripps

Offense: C+
Defense: B
Goalie: A
Overall: B- ​

So before I give any information on the top 5 EASHL center Mr. Pale Pwner's squad, I will say this was an interesting draft strategy. Spend over 80% of your BOD on two players, but they are proven players. Both xD A L Y and Bcripps have proven they are top talent at their position. Bcripps alone in net I believe is worth his BOD value. He will keep games close and give his team a chance to compete. Now add a better defenseman in front of him that will keep bad plays from forming in front of him is important. The synergy of Tompkins and Daly I believe will be interesting. It should work. What worries me is the offensive lineup. I know MacNorth and like how he keeps his gameplay, simple, along with AC. But mesh their playstyles with Pale's and I just don't see if fully working. Basically, don't give Pale room and this offense should be shut down.

Flode's squad
Flode - WizzyWar - Bongkarma
Bluelineking/BarretFiftyCal/DominatorSilva
ProphetsofRage

Offense: B
Defense: A-
Goalie: ?? (Default will be a C+)
Overall: B

I have zero clue who BongKarma and ProphetsofRage are. So, I tried to base this lineup the best I can. With two great part-time players at the defensive end, and a solid place holder at defense of BarretFiftyCal is the reason this team gets an A- defensive rating. Wizzy will be the point of focus on this offense and can probably work well with Flode and move the puck along with score some goals. Again, if you smuther Wizzy, you better hope Flode and BongKarma can do their fair share and open the ice up a bit.

Grey Cheeto's squad
xIx EDGE xIx - Hockeyt0wn13 - Hockeymike2344
Dalilaama - EpiK
Grey Cheeto

Offense: C+
Defense: B+
Goalie: A-
Overall: B

The offense will struggle. Edge better be a diamond now, because Russ can't carry this team to a season victory alone at offense. Dali and Epik will work at defense if Epik committs to being the defensive defensemen. Constructive criticism will be in this party chat, hopefully heads stay cool. Shotgun is a top 5 goalie in 239 when it was at it's best. He'll help keep shitty plays out of the net.

DrugMonkeyRX's squad
Nikdagreek23 - Jellyx35/pens71fan - Yambag021/xAbilityx
Brick - Drug
Sniper0270

Offense: B-
Defense: A
Goalie: B
Overall: B+

With the best defensive pair in this league, a better netminder than most, this team should do just fine. The offense I have zero idea about. I'm assuming when Jelly is out, Nik will play Center and ability or Pens will go in at LW. Nik has gotten better and Yam knows how to push up. When Jelly is in this lineup, I believe the team will do more than fine, but when he's not, I have absolutely zero clue about. This team has a lot of lineup options. Even Brick could go C or LW and have Pens71Fan play LD with Drug at RD. This team should do just fine, but we'll see.

Sober's squad
Sober - Ian The Berean/DonnyWood - Swizzy x 61/WelcomeToTheWebb
BobbyBanner - That 1 Odd Guy
Temptation

Offense: C+ / B+
Defense: B-
Goalie: ?? (C+)
Overall: B

This confuses the shit out of me. This team has the people to make a great offensive lineup at part-time situations. The defense should be fine with Odd at the back end but again, I don't know BobbyBanner and have no clue how that side will do. Also with a goalie I have zero clue of as well. This team shouldn't take my rating at par, other than at offense. As long as they split up Donny and Ian properly, this team should be fine.

TO BE CONTINUED.​

 

Shock’s squad
KosmicEA/Clancy - Shock - NoToRiOuS FiGo
HimynameisEd/Quantanium - RUNNGduckBUTTER
Scorchpelt

Offense: B
Defense: C+
Goalie: C
Overall: C+

I averaged the offense out at B. With Kosmic it’s a B+, without Kosmic it’s a B-. I really don’t see this lineup working at offense but more surprising things have happened in 239. So, we shall see. The defense I just don’t think will work. Scorchpelt (midogaron) decided to come back and I’ve seen him play net and it’s just not fully there yet. Until then, this team will struggle.

StoeyJopa’s squad
AmazingViperX/StoeyJopa - A9ent x007 - Ozzy9041
(whoever isn’t playing LW or C) - TheeClumsyNinja
Magilla/Zlow

Offense: B+
Defense: C+
Goalie: C+
Overall: B-

This squad has a lot of better forwards on it. I’m unsure of who is playing LD. Is Joesto, Viper or Agent playing LD? Is Clumsy playing D or is Magilla? The forward lineup with Viper or Joe at LW is solid regardless. I think this lineup will do pretty well actually in this 239 environment. Defense is shaky and goalie is just not looking great. Magilla has great games, but not so great. Zlow, I haven’t seen you in 20 so it’s not fair to judge but if I go off of 19 where it was easy to play goalie. This won’t be pretty at that back end.

QuantumTek’s squad
I Barkov I - QuantumTek - ANTHRAX x I81I
R0N D0N V0LANTE - Blue Liner x 6 (could swap both ron and Blue liner)
SirPuffington420

Offense: B+
Defense: B
Goalie: A-
Overall: B+

So without knowing ANTHRAX but seeing that Quantem reffered him then paid 26 BOD for him basically says he’s a stud and he wanted him. Quantum can carry an offense and Barkov (suneedee) is no stranger to being a 2nd guy at forward. Now, if you add this Anthrax guy with Barkov and Quantum’s talent. This offense should flow fine. I wanted to rate as an A-, but am unsure about Anthrax. Ron at defense makes this line better, Blue Liner is the stand out guy here, as in, will he fit, will he excel, we’ll have to see. SirPuffington has nothing more to prove. He’s a better goalie in this league and gets the A- rating. This team should be good.

SeeDew77’s squad
Crazyyetikilla - See Dub 21 - Yah Dunn Know
Johnnyy Blaze - SeeDew77
The Thomahawk

Offense: B
Defense: B
Goalie: B+
Overall: B

I want to give a better offensive rating, but I’m not sure even sure if this is the offensive lineup. Dub will do the best he can to carry this forward lineup. Dunner has promise up front and can Crazyyeti keep up? I think he can. Defense will be fine with SeeDew and Johnnyy at the back end. Thomahawk can be a top 3 goalie in this league. He’s been inconsistent since a few promising seasons back in NHL 19. If he can hold it down back there, this team has a chance. I’d say the overall of this team varies from a C+ to a B, all depending on the lineup.

Dmart15’s squad
CortezEA - Marty Mcfly1919 - Dmart15
BangerJ - YoungKelch
iSoldierUp/Thirty7inarow

Offense: A-
Defense: B-
Goalie: B-
Overall: B+

So this of course my own team, and I hate rating myself here. Dmart and Marty will be looking to carry this offensive lineup with this scrub Cortez being the 3rd place holder. The big question marks on this squad are, how will BangerJ and Kelch do together, and how will DJ and 37 do in the net? We know DJ is always a better goalie as long as he’s playing the game consistently. I’ve heard some rumblings that 37 has gotten his thumbs down and knows how NHL 20 is played and has gotten it down. I believe the forward lineup here will be able to score from everywhere. The defense knows where to be and can jump into the play and goalies can keep it out of the net. The inconsistency of goaltending (Part-time swap) and question marks of team defense may be a concern for the team, but should be able to figure it out.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this pre-season ratings. I know some may not be happy, and others probably are happy. Just know, you can hate me, say what you want, and I probably agree. Unless you’re Pale, I disagree with you. Just for the fun of the emo. I believe almost every team this season will be able to compete. There are a few in mind that should end at the top and a few that should end at the bottom but we shall see. Good luck to everyone this season. It should be great!




After Pale read that comment


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Good work my scrub fwd

 

nice work cortez

 

Good job Cortez, always pulling through

 

Hang on .U lost the game with me and drug back there douche.

 

I think you overall did a good job on the reviews. I just think it odd to give every team some form of a B. I think it would be better to either have no grades or have them more dispersed.

 

I thought about this afterwards. It's hard to give a letter grade when it can vary so much. If the line looked to be somewhat promising and COULD produce at either offense or defend at defense, they were given a B or higher, the higher of course the better. If lower, it meant the caliber of talent wasn't really there but, chemistry and my lack of knowledge could prove otherwise.

Either way, I agree with you. I think I'm going to switch to a number grade out of 100 next time, to actually give more variance.

 

239 words per minute he probably wrote this break down during an intermission of a game

 

Will these rankings be adjusted to reflect some Full Time players that are now part time players due to the MIA they didn't list?

 

How is a top 5 eashl player determined?

 

Nice work bro

 

who has done this? I just havent paid attention I guess.