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The Ass Effect

Discussion in 'Articles' started by Knifeinyourguts, Jul 26, 2021.

  1. Knifeinyourguts

    Knifeinyourguts New Member

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    We’re back again. Today, to write the obituary for Mass Effect. Pale’s bidding left many of us confused and curious about what the fuck he had put together. The boys of Mark It Zero got the first shot at Commander Pale and his band of merry goobers.

    Let’s meet the Reapers of 239.
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    LW - S a u c e x91
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    C - Slothual
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    RW - Schwatz83
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    LD - KNIFEinYOURguts
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    RD - l HallofFame l
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    G - ponch x29

    Game 1
    Sub out Swagg and Nick, sub in Schwatz and Sloth. ME takes an early lead off the stick of Howling Star. That lead lasted, oh, about 57 seconds. I tossed a simple breakout to Schwatzy, he skated it to the front of the net, and Mass Effect kindly put the puck in for us. Sloth made himself known during the second, banging in a pair from Schwatz. HoF finished the period off with a goal of his own, with just 2 seconds left. The third was a bit more competitive, with both teams scoring 3 more. Sloth finished his hat trick, while HoF & Schwatz picked up a brace of goals each. 7-4 W (1-0 MIZ)

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    Game 2
    Mass Effect clearly struggled to contain the MIZ firepower. Maybe game 2 would be different.

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    We brought the puck from home, so we weren’t planning to share. *BANG BANG* Sloth and Schwatz have a Saucey appetizer and put the good guys up 2-0 in the first 12 minutes. Howling Star made it look like they knew what was going on, when he picked up a blocked shot and tickled the twine. *BANG BANG BANG* All three MIZ forwards tally a goal in the 2nd period, all three coming off defensive takeaways.

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    Don’t fuck around with the puck too long, Kenny Wu, our fast break is dangerous. Pale and co learned the hard way. 5-1 W (2-0 MIZ)

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    Game 3
    7 minutes in, Schwatz dekes and feeds Sloth for a tap in. In pale’s words, “yep. Shit.” The forwards broke loose in the 2nd period, with each scoring 1 of 3 goals in 1:45. 4-0 early in the 2nd. Schwatz scored his 2nd following a shortie from Gagoots.

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    Gotta admit, I was impressed with Mass Effect in the 3rd. They came out chomping at the bit, scored early, scored late, and managed to get the game to within 1 inside the last minute. Unfortunately, they arrived too late to salvage any points, and for a 2nd straight series, our opponents were forced to Mark It ZERO! 5-4 W (3-0 MIZ)

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    SERIES STARS
    #3
    Slothual - 7g3a, 1 GWG
    #2 S a u c e x91 - 2g13a
    #1 Schwatz83 - 6g8a, 2 GWG

    SERIES HIGHLIGHTS


    EDIT: Fuck the twitch embed



     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2021
    That 1 odd guy likes this.

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