If you ain’t counting, you ain’t fisting Hello 239, it’s your friendly neighborhood Goodie here to tell you the story of how every single sister on Cobs team was fisted….sexually I think? It all started back when Kelch sent about 62926395959262849 messages in chat asking for captains. I thought to myself, this is a perfectly good opportunity to create a very offensive team name and Draft DutchIsAssMDK as usual. So Fuck it, let’s begin. Dortch was ready for this journey Dortch constantly complains that I never give him any help up front, but this year…this is the year I graciously gift Dortch some help. Get off my Dick now, K? so the story continues with Drafting Hoots as a steal on RW, Link Mobski/AgentSook on LW, Dvetts/Civpo on LD, Kin Dange in Net, and CHL god xHoodler. Teams looking solid until Hoodler decided his 5m contract in the C was way more important than starting on the best team in 239 history. So he quickly became just another name in the past (get rule 1ed you pussy) and The Sister Fisters pick up PensFan. Get Rekt Nerd Anyway, Dvetts/Civpo/Mobski all couldnt make the first game so Sook-Dortch-Hoots-Pensfan-Me-Dange were first up to start the fisting. For a lack of a better phrase, Cobs team is an absolute Dumpster fire. The Fisters controlled the play all 3 games and dictated tempo and coasted to a sweep. There were some bumps along the way with some shitty EA bounces to keep some games close, but it was pretty easy to slide our fists into each one of their sisters. Renfri was standing on her head and making it extremely difficult for each of our fists to be inserted. She is already in tip top Vezina form as the scores should have been WAY worse than 4-3, 6-3, and 2-1 OT Renfri all 3 games watching her team never protect anything around the net Series recap: -Dutch is ass -Sook is a fucking god -Hoots girl left him alone for the series -PensFan SOLID on LD -Kin Dange giggles when he gets scored on I’ll leave you guys with a life lesson: No means yes, yes means anal, and no matter what, we are coming for everyone’s sisters in 239. NO SISTER IS SAFE FROM GETTING FISTED.
