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Wiz's Week 4 Power Rankings

Discussion in 'Articles' started by Wizzywar, May 23, 2022.

  1. Wizzywar

    Wizzywar Well-Known Member

    Sep 15, 2017
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    S23 Week 4 Power Rankings

    If I were a betting man, I wouldn't bet on any team to win this season. I'd take my money and invest in something more certain, like monorails. That's how open things feel. Post trade deadline, these will be my last power rankings. Will I do a playoff write-up? Maybe. Don't look at me like that. I can feel your look.


    #1 APPEAR OFFLINE (14-6-4)

    How do you follow up one of the most embarrassing losses of the season -- blowing a 4-1 lead with 1 min left, against a team named to make fun of your highest paid player? You lay down the ass whooping of the season on Chill Pills, outscoring them 20-2. Dali's 21 goals this week may have clinched the Rocket; Dmart and Dali are jockeying for the Art Ross. Veds (who did NOT leave the server) is nearly 2 points/game on defense. AdamHayWired is a lock for Most Improved nom, with 20 points in 24 games, showing surprising passing and defending ability (even if his 40 PIMs are 24 PIMs clear of the next d-man! Get it together with the buttons, bud!). The biggest mistake this team could make is feeling themselves after beating a team that quit on the ice. Certain issues haven't magically gone away. And of course the only certainties in life are death, taxes, and Dmart not making trades.

    #2 LIBERTY BIBERTY (15-8-1)

    Goodbye, #1 ranking. Dom and Bryan blew up their team, sans their defense. Pens got the full Dom experience: GIFs to make you feel good; then, pack your bags! Pens started the first 2 weeks of the season with a .787 save %, but he's followed that up with .710% over the last 2 weeks for a team that allows the fewest shots/game. Curdogg's been trending up, meanwhile, to the point their season %s are roughly equal. But out with the young, in with the old. Previously, Regretzkys didn't have the chemistry he'd like up front; they were never a good passing unit. Adding Hoodler at center should kill two birds with one stone: quicker passing and Gretz can slide to wing, where he can go bananas off the rush. The problem is he might have to play some LW, and Zer0 (PT) is a left-handed wing. Take it from me, no one timer is difficult in this game. I don't know who will play wing in their other series each week. Maybe Kane slides up, and they weaken their defense. Either way, it's a problem.

    #3 STRICTLY BUSINESS (12-4-5)
    After a soft scheduling start, it's 3 series losses in a row for Strictly Biz Nasty (versus Offline, Fakery, and Throws). That includes 3 OT losses and tight finishes in each and every game. It's a pain in the rear to commandingly beat this team, and that's a good thing. They're managing the Marty C/RD split well, with little to no drop-off. Goals haven't been a problem, topping the league with nearly 4 goals/game. The 4th worst goals against is a bugaboo, and I don't know if a goalie swap fixed that. Under the radar, Business has the 3rd worst combined special teams. They still need to play Pale, Domgretzky, and Dutch -- teams sandwiching them in the rankings right now.

    #4 BIG BROWN BEAVERS (12-7-2)
    Dutch didn't make a major move this deadline, but he made the best value in acquiring SurpriseMe. Zer0 is a quality RW, but he was part-time. Overall production out of the position has been a struggle, especially since neither of Beav's defensemen are "offensive." What this team encounters is teams cheating to Mash/Dutch, daring someone else to beat them. It wasn't long ago that SurpriseMe had 82 points in 30 games playing with Dutch, and that was with Dwagon at LW. I'd say Mash makes for a slight upgrade as a trio. Surprise's weakness has always been against tight checking, but he's in a rare circumstance as a 3rd forward here, and he will get plenty of room to operate. Bowser has also been getting more and more comfortable on NHL22. Jsquad is 4th in the league in save %, with .779%. For a perennial waiver, with a .635 career save %, well done.

    #5 GAME OF THROWS (10-9-2)

    Hall shockingly benched Hoodler last week, after looking terrific in warm-up with Lemanski - Barrett - Cee, and Kelch sliding back to LD. They came out and beat Kosmic. So, Hall turned that spark into a trade for another LW, SoloDolo, to split with Lemanski. I like Kelch sliding back with the dynamic Hall. Rage is playing like a Vezina candidate. I hear that communication and vibes are great right now;everyone is buying into cycling the puck (compared to the earlier version of the team). Maybe they don't have that superstar forward, but this team looks well-rounded and could be more than the sum of its parts.

    #6 AIN'T NO SUNSHINE (11-8-2)

    No moves for Sunshine, and I think it's the right call for a team trending up. I've seen these boys actually practicing multiple times (!!!) the last week, and wouldn't you know, it helped, along with not benching Gala. Who could've guessed? Their strength is their lack of holes, so chemistry is vital. They need an upcoming series win against Puckies, and I think the series against Nooooooo is a perfect matchup to prove themselves heading towards playoffs. Wick has had bad fortune playing only the 3 top ranked teams before this past week, so I'm expecting a surge.

    #7 NOOOOOOOOOOOO (10-5-0)

    I don't think a playoff team had a worse deadline than Nooooooooo. Name checks out. In theory, Pale tried to sacrifice well-roundedness for a higher-end player. They take the most shots/game and have the worst shooting %, so something was wrong. I just don't think he accomplished his goal. It's not entirely his fault he played on 2 of the worst teams this season, but on his 4th team already, Schwatz hasn't proven he's helped create wins. I watched the Offline vs. Pills series, and most of Dali's 1000 one timers were in his coverage spot. The production hasn't balanced that either. He's a capable net driver who likes to hold it in the corners, but I don't expect Cougar to see the puck as much, which would be a problem. This team can't produce without JRD at PT RW (they acquired a FT RW, so something has to give). I assume Fwaming is playing LW PT, maybe McDollar at defense, possibly multiple series if Ozzy's work schedule is an issue. I'm just not seeing what they fixed.

    #8 BLUELINE FAKERY (11-7-3)
    The Fakery had a tone setting win against Business, only to barely scrape by against Puckies (albeit their best line). Nothing has really changed for this team; I don't think you'll get an easy series, but they're just too inert offensively. Abutt is in his element as a half-wall playmaker, and frankly, he hasn't had someone to finish his plays. Kaberle had 7 goals in 6 games shifting to RW, so with no moves left to make, he needs to score in bunches.


    Game 3 against Dmart was their championship. End the season there. With 3 playoff teams coming up, will Shotty get another series, and can this team look functional without 26 BOD PTer, Legion4 (he of the 35 points in 12 games)? They're 2-6-1 without him. Superstar has a 3.07 goals against average (4th worst), yet his .805 save % is 2nd best. For a team that is dead last in o-zone time and not exactly a structural marvel, he's been under the radar carrying.

    #10 RUBBER PUCKIES (5-11-2)

    43 goals scored, 70 goals allowed. It's not a winning combination, and this team is dead in the bath water. I still think it's a good locker room, and they'll make the most out of their 4 series remaining. They brought it to Fakery last week, so I wouldn't be blown away seeing them sneak some wins against playoff teams.

    #11 CHILL PILLS (6-14-1)

    A special place in my rankings reserved for this team. I said that Odd added all the offensive talent he needed, with himself sliding to defense. He acquired Sejje, usually in Hart discussion; Sejje's favorite center, Halfsack; and a historically good scorer, Schwatz. Thomahawk is the 3rd highest paid goalie in the league, and was a monster just last season. I said this team was built for a run. It turns out, they were built for the runs. That was one big pile of shit they took against Appear Offline. Spare me the "we just quit during game 3" nonsense -- you lost game 1 by a score of 8-0! They had no interest in playing a lick of defense, just a bunch of dudes going through motions with no interest in playing for pride or one another. Odd traded for Adrenaline and Dualism; I expect they can only improve after last week but who cares?

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