Tragedy has invaded the 239 community as the pre-season number one ranked team found themselves annihilated in their shaggin wagon by none other than The Osama Zynladen Organization.
Reports are showing that this was a family of inbreds who would frequently be shagging each other in their wagon parked right outside of Reeps Home Depot for the washed and overrated repair center. According to inside sources, this family of 6 would literally partake in the act of family incest, at least that’s what Sexy Rocko who dodged the opportunity to shag last night has mentioned.
Nobody knows the true motive behind this horrific attack, but blame has been initially put on TOZO because they were the last to be seen around Reeps establishment. It has also been brought to our attention that they were actually ranked behind Reeps team in the power rankings which clearly shows motive to take this disgusting West Virginia/ Alabama fucking each other loving family out.
The weapon of choice was a pipe bomb, which was strategically inserted into the exhaust of Reeps family wagon. That appears to not be the only thing that was inserted into something last night as reports are showing that the alleged attackers “had their way” with the victims bodies after the explosion.
This is truly a disturbing crime scene but this is how these terrorist organizations act. They want to instill fear into the 239 community, to strike and attack at any time. But don’t worry, we have the full coverage here, unlike the mainstream CNN hippy liberal LGBTQXYZ who will suppress this story because they’re a bunch of pussies.
It all started when Reep and his inbreds decided to have a night of buttsex in the parking lot. Temperatures were rising, sweat on the car seats, windows rolled up to keep the stank in. But here came TOZO, silently and swiftly inserting the pipe bomb into the exhaust. Game one 4-2 W
Now the thing with traditional pipe bombs are that normally friction is what causes the pipe to explode, releasing whatever was stuffed inside it. This could be shrapnel, razor blades, rocks and other sorts of materials. However, TOZO uses this new technology and creates a long fuse attached to AA batteries and added a detonator which creates a more premeditated and timed explosion. But this takes time for this task to be completed. But it’s all part of the plan. Game 2 5-4 L
Now that Reeps family realized that they are in trouble, they frantically attempt to open the doors of the wagon and hop out and run. But this is where the TOZO members have outsmarted the overrated family of Reep. Mashtopia, See dub, Crawford, Ace Soul, and Riedel have all been barricading the car doors to stop this family from exiting their wagon. All that’s left is for someone to press the detonator button. And that person was the star of the night. He was part of last season Duck championship. A special honorary terrorist of the night.. COBNA. Goodie gives the signal, Reeps family all look out the wagons windows in horror, and with one quick French saying from COBNA “a jamais” which means “see you never” the detonator was pressed, and Reeps disgusting family was sent straight to the gulag. 2-1 W.
A couple lessons from this attack:
- Don’t ever rank yourself number one ever unless you actually can win games.
- Don’t ever rank yourself ahead of literally the last season champions of 239
- Don’t underestimate the wrath of TOZO
- Stop fucking your family. That’s pretty gross
Well there you have it folks. TOZO continues to go on a tear, terrorizing one 239 team after another. Maybe someone should take a note out of Texas and band together and fight back against these terrorists.
Goodie OUT.
