Been a while since i've done one of these. bear with me, this is gonna get retarded on a few levels.
ok, first --- who gives a flying fuck if the girl they chose to play ariel is black ? seriously. who gives a fuck ? ariel's parents were greek and her best friend is a fucking jamaican crab, but her being black is what you have a hard time with ? also --- why in the fuck are adults ( myself included ) talking about this dumb shit ?
next ---- on what fucking planet does a starbucks employee ask six fucking cops to leave a coffee shop because a customer is " afraid " of them ? when the fuck did this become a thing ? the worst part --- the fucking cops actually left. if i was one of the cops, there would definitely have been an abuse of power situation just waiting by the dumb fucks car outside. if a cop in the immediate area makes you nervous or afraid, it is either because youre a criminal or a fucking retarded cunt.
also --- the fucking border bullshit. i know there are a ton of retards on both sides of this issue --- but anyone that crosses our border illegally , regardless of the fucking reason, is a fucking criminal and should be sent back --- preferably with a fucking catapult. i have absolutely no fucking problem with anyone that comes here legally, none at all. i welcome anyone that wants to come here for a better life as long as they do it the right way --- i will also add this caveat-- our legal immigration system is a fucking mess and needs to be fixed and it really shouldnt take 7-10 years to come here legally. that being said, the fucking haitians, africans, mexican and other south american people that are storming our borders can fuck off --- as should any libtard asswipe that says we should have open borders and free fucking healthcare and welfare for illegal aliens---fuck them --- help actual americans first, and close the fucking border. --- also -- democrats act like they give a flying fuck about these people, but they literally only care about votes . back in the 80's when reagan won california, and the illegals were known for voting republican, every democrat on earth wanted our border closed . if the illegals coming here now were republicans --- there would be a wall 50 feet high at the border and it would have fucking gun turrets on it. also --- the dumb cunt from nyc who says that the illegals are being forced to drink toilet water is a lying retarded cunt.
now ---- this will start some shit but i dont fucking care ----- the recent trade between shitgun and ozzy.
while i had no problem playing on shitguns team ( it was actually fun ) i did have a problem with sunneedee. he is a shitty team mate. first -- he signs up as center only -- i get it, he fucked up and it was too late to fix it. ok --- he cant win a fucking faceoff, thats first. second --- half of playing center is defensive --- but its hard to play defense when youre at the other team's blue line. he also messaged half of the other captains asking them to trade for him. jerkoff move. then he magically either had to work the night of the next series ---- makes it home in time for game three but we had already won the first two so he got emo that he didnt play in the third game. then falls asleep during the first two games of the last series causing us to get a waiver. --- then fucking chirps dunner for not being ready for a one timer when in dunner's defense sunnee doesnt fucking pass any way so i cant blame him for not being ready for the pass he didnt expect. hopefully ozzy and pale will be a little more vocal and straighten his dumb ass out.
also, why doesnt anyone do write ups any more ? that used to be half the fun of winning a series ---talking shit to the people you beat --- but it rarely happens now ---- we should make it a fucking rule that you have to do a write up when you win.
ok ---- customers finally coming in. yall can fuck off now
The season is right around the corner from the first game, but that isn't ideal for some.
Last night, there seemed to be some hostility between players on the Turrible Turds. No one seems to know what sparked the dispute between players, but Doctorbob seemed to be the real instigator. Sources say that Doctorbob was told that the LW spot was going to be taken over by someone else and he was going to sit the bench. Seems reasonable for an unproven player. It seems like Ron is going to be getting SeeDub more than originally thought, and McLucas has shown some good promise.
We got a glimpse of the conversation between players and we just would like to warn everyone before reading, NSFW.
Doctorbob: You're telling me that Cortez can sit here and consistently Spin-o-rama/Turnover 9 times a game... and i get the fucking bench? this is ridiculous. I want out. Trade me for a fucking washing machine.
Fucking R0N scored in our own net... TWICE.. and i get the bench?
Epik: We have a top team here
Everyone can contribute
Doctorbob: Yeah ill keep the bench warm for ya, ill be the best bench door guy in the league. Maybe Cortez can fucking spin-o-rama us a title!
Followed by these messages were epik and ClumsyNinja trying to calm bob down and bring him back to reality but i don't think there is any coming back from this. I believe bob has ruined any chance of making this team, and no one really understands where this hate for Cortez came from. Doctorbob is well known by some for his nonsense in the shout box, but now it's toward his own team. Will he ever recover?
We were sent some breaking news around 2:34am last night. It seems as if Bob was caught leaving a bar (Still very heated about the situation) talking down on his GM/Teammate. We will not post the video, but we can post some quotes from it.
Outside the bar:
Bystander: Bud, that's my girl... can you back off? Doctorbob: you're girl? pshh I get put on the bench by my team and now this f****** guy puts me on the P**** bench? jesus Bystander: What are you talking about bud? you're high as shit Doctorbob: F****** R0N D0N put it in my own net and cut my own family member V0LANTE is a B****. I PUT MY F****** HEART INTO THAT TEAM! HE SHOULD STAY A PLAYER AND NOT A GM BECAUSE HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THE F*** HE IS DOING Bystander: Who the hell is Ron Don Salami ? Doctorbob: Exactly! F***** guy couldn't build a lego car even if you gave him every part and instructions and he's running a hockey team? Bystander: Oh you're a hockey player, thats dope! who do you play for? Doctorbob: who knows anymore... who knows Bystander: Like NHL?? so you're a free agent? Doctorbob: Nah 239.. like xbox hockey Bystander:...... right... alright bro well I'm out of here.
Seems as if Doctorbob was under the influence of drugs and alcohol, but i think he just soiled any chance he had at making a team. We hope for the best, but it seems like the era of Doctorbob134 is... Over
Season 12 is here and you know what that means! Time for totally unreliable rankings!!
For this edition, we're going to not only look at talent but also (BOD Value) *Bag O'dicks
#1 Dmart15 Magilla72
X Mr Anderson o
An early favorite in my book, we see the part-time strategy yet again and there is no reason it won't work. Dali and Anderson both clock in at 20 BOD or less. 4 players on this team are 5 or less.. Dmart got serious value, for a monster team. Overall: A+
BOD Value: A++
Chili Con Carnage 7.0 .... All kidding aside, Surpriseme has built a pretty solid foundation here. I see this team around top 3 all season. Pogs at almost 40 BOD worried me at first, but getting RY and nexus at 5, 10 respectively makes up for it. Overall: A- BOD Value: A
#3 Wizzywar Annex Chrispy nikdagreek23 Marty Mcfly SirPuffinton420 Sniper0270 Clancy Wizzy's team is hard to judge, but I love what he did here. Draft an elite guy, and surround him with above average players. Chrispy is a steal at 30 BOD, however, everyone else on the team garnered just about what I'd expect. Overall: B+ BOD Value: B-
#4 That 1 Odd Guy Linkrunner
Chisouthsiderr Odd guy has the most underrated team in the draft. Link, Viper and Yam don't get enough credit and the value shows. Hergs at 10 BOD is unreal, Link just won a vez and only gets 17? Odd's team could shock some people. Overall: B+ BOD Value: A+
#5 R0N D0N V0LANTE See Dub 21 IIEpik x CortezEA ClumsyNinja Mclucas Doctorbob RDV has some unknowns, I've heard McLucas is solid but Doctorbob and Clumsy are question marks. For 1 BOD each tho, not a big deal. The real question is can Dub and RDV carry the load? Overall: B- BOD Value: B
#6 Runngduckbutter Drugmonkeyrx
Ian the Berean
Crazyyetikilla RDB went all in on drug, spending over half the pot on em. Shock, jopa and ian are all solid low price pick ups. I just don't know if there is enough here to make a run in the playoffs. Overall: C+ BOD Value: B
#7 Ozzy9041 Pale
clickityclank Ozzy spent early in the draft and it may have cost him, Pale and Flode take up 84 BOD, X96 is a steal tho at 9. Bob, Athomp, and clank all getting 1 seem like great value. Overall: C+ BOD Value: C+
#8 Master Sh0tgun SeeDew77
Ya Dunn Know
x Sober Enuff x
Legion I thought shotgun started out well getting Chels at only 41 which seems like a discount compared to drug at 52. Unfortunately I don't know where the goals are coming from. These guys are a bubble team Overall: C BOD Value: B
*I did not include the team I am on, I don't want to be "that guy".
**These are my own opinions, please don't get butt-hurt if I didn't say you or your team are amaze-balls.