A terrorist plot to bomb the home of the Second Place Heroes has gone up in smoke.
At approximately 11:30PM Monday night John Cena took a break from his wrestling match to grab a micropohone and announce to the crowd, “I walk out here every night with hustle, loyalty and respect on my sleeve. That is a credo I’ve adopted from the men and women who defend the freedom of this country. The President has just announced that we have caught and compromised – to a permanent end – Osama Zyn Laden(OZL).”
Fans in the arena, many of whom came with signs memorializing the Waggin Tails Dogpark Massacre erupted into thunderous applause and cried tears of joy.
Authorities first were made aware of terrorist activity in the city around 10 PM and in the interest of public safety dispatched the Second Place Seal Team 6 (SPST6).
“Today there is cause for celebration but there is also cause for solemn reflection,” said CPT. Hammer of SPST6. “We were able to intercept Osama at each of the three points they had planned to attack this evening however it’s possible we wouldn’t have been so lucky had the terrorist operatives been better prepared. At least one key operative in their first attack was missing from his post and that gave us a tactical advantage the followed through the entire operation.”
It had appeared OZL’s strategy was to attempt to blend in and infultrate unnoticed donning rags with colours identical to those worn by the locals. However the defensive operation never wavered. Nearby witnesses claimed it was is if the SPST6 had been protected by Jesus himself.