Hahahahahahahahahahaha y’all thought I was done? Y’all thought you could end my write up terror? Man have you guys got a lot to learn, this is only the beginning. You ain’t seen NOTHING yet.
Yeah we lost a series so what? Yeah we got beat by a bunch of losers so what? Yeah they used big tipper because they legit don’t have enough skill at the game to actually win respectably so what? Yeah my write up flow was stolen so what? You think this is gonna stop me? It’s. All. Part. Of. The. Plan. I’m playing chess while all you inbreds are playing checkers. I’m 5 moves ahead while you guys are still trying to jump one piece. Bunch of fucking herbs here.
Now let’s tell the 239 community a little story on how the “first place team” got embarrassed last night.
So picture this, it’s the wittle wed wite massacre team with their wittle bwack ships and their scawwy wittle piwates wit their wittle guns coming to twy and beat TOZO. Well that ship fucking sailed off the flat edge of the earth because there was no way in Allah’s name that we would lose two series in a row.
Our plan was simple, *jokers voice* “we kill the Batman”….. RIP Heath Ledger
We knew what these nerds were gonna do. Force force force force force cross crease and bank on EA gifting them puck pickups and winning this series by luck. Nah bro. That shit ain’t gonna work on us dawg. They have all the skill in the world on that team to beat us, but what they don’t have is heart. You need to have heart to win this game. Wed wite massacre has none.
So we decided to let them win game one because we were feeling a bit generous. We knew the forces were coming but we wanted to see it so we can easily win the next two games. And that’s exactly what we did. 3-2 L
TOZO should have won game 2 in regulation, but we just figured why not give the wittle wed wite massacre team another point because we felt really bad for these high skill players to just close their eyes and force cross crease after cross crease after cross crease. It’s just a very bad sight to see from high skill players. But what are you gonna do you know? So we allow OT to happen and score right away to take the dub and start the actual massacre which will be seen in game 3. 4-3 OTW
It’s time for some brutal killing. I’ve managed to escape the maximum security prison in DC that they said was “impossible” to break out of, gathered the TOZO crew of Mashtopia, See Dub, Ace Soul, Riedel, and Big Mac, and went to the intersection of Force fest Road and No heart drive and decided to have a nice public execution for the wed wite massacre team. We captured them, tied them all up, blind folded them all, peed on them, and recorded it all for the entire 239 community to see. 7-5 W
Our method of killing was using machetes. We wanted them to bleed and feel the pain and suffering that our people have felt for thousands of years. This was a statement kill, to show the 239 community that we mean business, and we don’t care about any one of your feelings. The blood will run through these streets, and it won’t stop.
Chita chatta it don’t matta where we finish in the standings this season. No one is going to want to pick us for the playoffs. No one is gonna want to be embarrassed and have a great regular season just to throw it away in the playoffs. I told you guys, I was captured, not killed. But IMMMMM BAAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKK
Until next time….. Goodie OUT.
