What you just watched was a glimpse of what happened last night on the ice. This video represents the death of 3 members of our community. The two Jawas were clearly accurate in height and facial hair representation of St1dwallGoat and AceSoul, while FDMxKill is Jar Jar.
Before we get started on the writeup I think we should have a moment of silence for them
239, thank you for gathering today to celebrate the very short lived life of the Jar Jar Tips. I’d like to say that we didn’t see this coming, but to do so would be a lie. FDM Kill one of the top Dman and most successful players in 239 in recent memory as a rookie captain said to himself before the draft, “How can I really fuck this up?”
CHALLENGE SUCCESSFUL
I had to do a double take when I realized that Kill spent more bods on Zigz than he did on the rest of his roster combined. I just wanted this on the record before anyone gets any wild ideas of where blame should fall before we discuss this ANAL Rapage that transpired on the ice.
Let’s meet the lineups
(Thommy broke out the gm 7 lineup)
LW: KniveVet22
C: i Dragxn l
RW: Mr Aidserson
LD: Young Kelch (pom poms not included)
RD: Reep14 (as requested just eating popcorn)
G: Thomahawk
Now for the Death March of shame, I mean lineup of the other guys
LW: Zigz, C: Disnub, RW: Riedel
LD: FDM Jar Jar
RD: Ace
G: InvisibleWallGoat
Time for the pregame speech with Captain Thommy
Game 1
Dick in Jar Jar Ass, Dick in Jar Jar Mouth, So much dickage going on I lost track. We killed them, and then we went back did again just because we could. Our goalie who picked up the shutout also outscored them, no I’m not joking. He got off the ice, hopped over the bench, went down and scored. GET FUCKING REKT GOAT!
Final Score: 10-0 The Replacements
Game 2
Rinse and repeat… They left Ace on an island. Dragon and Ando with Hattys.
Final Score: 6-1 The Replacements
We’ve already killed them, now lets take their soul while also testing ourselves.
i Dragxn l
The boys said fuck it why not. We let them score a few to give them hope they were a solid team. Dragxn said for us not to score any goals until the 3rd, so that is what we did. Down 3-0 after 2 the boys had to put the final nail in the coffin of the Jar Jar Tips draft night experiment. Also Thommy #NeedSave
Dragxn scores twice, Knife scores one and in the last minute of the game a slick pass finds it way to Reep diving the slot who lights the lamp. Insult to injury for Kill and co, they get nothing to show for it.
Final Score: 4-3 The Replacements
Lets check in on the 239 gen chat… (Goat don’t ever shit talk my Dallas Stars hoe!)
GGs Jar Jar Tips and co, don’t worry 8 of the 9 teams make the playoffs this season so you still have a chance. If you can’t get ahold of your captain today don’t worry he’s probably just busy working the trade lines. Goat get SMOKED bud!
3 stars of the night
1. Thomahawk guy had a shutout and a goal in game 1, I mean c’mon
2. FDM Kill, was exposed so much we get to listen to Ando talk about how good he is for another week (also as a capt you joked that your contact is now 0 bods, that checks out)
3. Does it matter? The Replacements as a whole they outscored them by a total count of 20-4
239 I appreciate you tuning in for the recap of the massacre last night. Johnny Bales you are a beauty for streaming it as you always do, we love you. Now before you all go on with your day i’d like us all to watch a remembrance video in honor of the now dead Jar Jar.
