239 lets kick off our S35 hype with some media shall we?
Here is how this will work, i’m going to introduce you to all 15 of our captains this season. Maybe tell you something about them, maybe completely lie to you and make shit up. Give you a player comp for them and you know what… you’ll fucking see when you keep reading.
THE CAPTAINS
PALEPWNR (C/RW) Flyers Fan
Player comp: Jaromir Jagr
Here is the bit, Pale had to be first up because he’s already number 1 on the power rankings for the season. Pale is an admin, he’s one of the most tenured captains in 239 history, he is coming off a very successful season in which he came up just short. He is known for drafting a rookie (or several) to pair with himself and another high priced vet. He has not won 239 championship since season 3.
NUTZnBERGERS (C) Oilers Fan
Player comp: Mark Messier
ROOKIE CAPT!
NUTZ is a first time 239 captain, he is coming off a season where as a rookie last season he won the belt. He is looking to assert in dominance now as a captain, and i’m for it. I would guess that he tries to draft some of his boys from the team last season that won the belt. He won the Calder last season, next year will he win the Jack Adams?
BluelineKing7 (RD/LD/RW) Flames Fan
Player comp: Brian Leetch
BLK is from Baltimore, but he’s a Calgary fan. Clearly the guy is off his rocker. In his prime there was not a better Dman in 239, nowadays he is still a very good player who will want his team to play the style of hockey he wants them to play. If he raises his voice, don’t worry he doesn’t hate you he just is trying to mold you. Multiple 239 championships to his name, as both a player and captain. Expect for him to go heavy after a high bod forward to add firepower to his offense with him on the backend. Delusional Orioles fan, don’t talk baseball with him.
COUG4R HUNTER aka Cougs (RD/LD) Devils Fan
Player comp: Brian Rafalski
Cougs is an odd dude, but he’s an elite Dman and will absolutely anchor his team’s blueline. He is one of the better captains on this captains list and probably the Vegas favorite for the Norris this season. Cougs is a multiple time 239 champion. He will most likely try and land a member of the bakery to pair with himself to have instant chem off rip.
Iggy (LW/G) Penguins Fan
Player comp: Jake Guentzel
ROOKIE CAPT!
Iggy is the first captain on this list to have never won a 239 championship. Now he is newer to the league, so he’s testing his luck on controlling his own destiny to try and claim his first belt. I respect it! He’s a good player that could potentially put himself at FWD or in Net. I don’t have a clue as to any insight on what his draft plan will be he might look to lock down a good 2way center regardless of where he plays himself.
RAWB (C/LW/LD/RW) Leafs Fan
Player comp: Sergei Fedorov
RAWB is a great guy, extremely versatile and can play all 6 positions on the ice and not lose a step. He probably wont know what position he is playing until halfway through the draft when he figures out who he has been able to add to the squad. 239 Champion, always active and getting games in. Probably the nicest captain out of all 15 we have this season.
Schemmm (LW/C) Red Wings Fan
Player comp: Pavel Datsyuk
Schemmm is returning back to 239 after a season off and taking his first stab at captaining. This guy is a menace on the ice and will find a way to score one way or another. I mean he’s got his own 239 acronym LSDST, which means Let Schemmm do Schemmm things. Basically just let’em cook! He is also a 239 champion and if I were a betting man I’d imagine he tries to land one of the top C in this draft to pair a nice 1-2 punch on his fwd line with himself.
Mashotpa (C/LW) Flyers Fan
Player comp: Bobby Clarke
THE MOOSE IS LOOSE! Mash is 239’s very own Florida Man. He is a multiple time champion, he is one more prolific scores in 239 history. He will build a lineup with a stacked forward line and he will try to outscore you. Expect him to go all in on a big fish in the draft and figure out the rest after that. After a down year last season, I’d expect a bounce back season from this multiple time captain.
Ozzy l24l (RW) Blues Fan
Player comp: Vladimir Tarasenko
Ozzy is a one of the longest tenured 239 members on this captains list. However this is I believe his first season captaining. So i’m excited to see what he does come draft time. Oddly enough he is not a 239 champion after all these season, but that’s only bound to change at some point. He is a dangly winger that will make defenders scratch their head at times during a series. I expect him to draft some of his buddies or guys he has chem with to make his rookie journey as captain go as smooth as possible.
Veds (C/RD) Rangers Fan
Player comp: Marian Gaborik
Detective Veds is back in 239. Simply put he is probably the best player in the entire league. He can play all 6 spots on the ice and do it at an elite level. 239 champion, the youngest captain in this draft. He will have his team laughing most likely with some of the random shit he says. He will blow his load on Abutt (no i’m not ruining his draft plan, this is public knowledge at this point as its the worst kept secret). He will round out his team with guys he knows and is comfortable playing with.
Lemanski (LW/C/LD) Leafs Fan
Player comp: Alexander Mogilny
Lemanski is the most important guy in 239 these days. He is an admin, and multiple time captain. He is the guy who has been redoing the website/draft bot/discord changes the last handful of seasons. To not give him his praise would be foolish of me. He is a 239 champion, and he is stepping up to captain against his will and we love him for it. We have no clue what he’ll do in the draft, and the best thing is neither does he. Grab some popcorn this should be a blast.
Sexy Rocko (RW/RD/C) Leafs Fan
Player comp: William Nylander
Sexy Rocko is another 239 champion. He is always online getting games in, don’t be surprised if drafted to his team and you are asked to get some practice games in on the regular. Will he try to build essentially the same team he’s been on a few of the last seasons again, or will he put together a group of his pals he plays with that are signed up this season. We shall see. Versatile player who can play W or D and be helpful to his team.
That 1 odd guy (RD/LD) Penguins Fan
Player comp: Sergei Gonchar
There has never been a more fitting gamertag for an individual person. Odd is an OG 239er and a 239 Champion. He is 239s very own Mr. Game 7. He has come up clutch plenty of times, he also will have you confused some of the other times. He is a talker, you’ve been warned. I think he will try and land a good all around team made up of mostly 239 Vets that he can rely on.
The Thomahawk (G) BlueJackets Fan
Player comp: Captain Roberto Luongo
Thommy is a gem, he is always willing to step up and captain and even when the odds are not in his favor. Thomahawk is the lowest bod captain on this list, and he doesn’t give a damn. He normally drafts solid balanced teams. I expect him to do just that this season. Great dude, and not afraid to shuffle things on his roster if need be.
Jellyl35l (RW/C) Devils Fan
Player comp: Patrik Elias
Jelly is returning to 239 and taking his chances as a captain. 239 Champion, down to earth dude and an offensive threat on the ice. 2nd youngest captain this season. I’m not sure where he will go with his draft strategy, potentially he goes after one of the better rookies and then figures the rest out as he goes. Jelly will exploit the game anyway he can to get an advantage on the ice, good luck to opposing goalies.
That is all the captains. Hope this gives you at least a little insight into the guys that will be drafting the teams this season. Best of luck to everyone this season, I hope to you see on the ice. Be sure to watch the draft show on Thursday (1/9) at 9PM est on Johnny Bales stream. Now 239 you know I love you and in true Kelch writeup posts i’ll leave you all with a song to vibe to