What the Duck??

Just remember, this is your fault this happened. Some, because you requested it (Good & Duck) others, bc you simply weren’t good enough to stop it (the rest of the league). Git Gud.

From Day 1, Good had only two requests of his team.

1. We dictate the pace, we dictate the play. Other teams adjust to us.
2. Believe.

Most Hated

The only thing this team “Hated” more than scoring goals (hint, they were dead last) was probably watching Jimmy play LW. Good news though guys, you’re close to getting your 100 Bods back online….

The Couric Killers

Ok, Reep drafted his team, played like 8 games, and then tried this with his roster via trade…

They wound up having possibly the most polite d-pair in history, and poor reep had to be in between a rocko and terry offensive migraine. Fuck it, I don’t even have much chirping for this squad, Reep’s been through enough this season…meanwhile we have a live look-in at Skull finding new and creative ways to not get bent over all season for the league high team GA…

Mid Ice Crisis

Holy Moly, look at this old timer squad, all you’re missing is @magilla72 yelling “Fhcck” through his dentures here. I know, I know kelch, you guys (you and ando) won a belt with Boats & Hoes together. That movie, like your belt, is 15 years old, it’s time to move on.

The sad part, it’s hard to even talk shit, your team beat Duck. It was a regular season series, so in true Mister AustonMatthewson fashion, of course Ando was clutch in victory. Then we have Pale Pwner, we see you Pale…

Live look-in at poor Turtle after hearing the 203th “we used to be good…seriously…” from his the has/never been’s.

Truculence and Ice Tilt

Oh gee whiz, Lemanski drafted A1…

Then we have Adam and Odd on defense. Let’s be honest, this gif has to properly convey Odd/whichever poor goalie is playing/Adam…right?

Somehow this mish-mosh of bad excel and spin moves was our most difficult playoff opponent. Ok, maybe we do need more skill in 239…

Freaky Styley

Alprazoholic and Eso used a Red Hot Chili Pepper theme this season, which is fitting bc Alprazoholic/Eso and the Chili Peppers have run the same schtick for like 20 years…the only difference is unlike the Chili Peppers…Alprazoholic and Eso ARENT better when on drugs…

Thankfully Bryan drafted some backup, if he was seeking someone to overanalyze and it-splain the game of hockey to everyone, he had his guy in Wizzy.

“No really….pre-game intros really to impact momentum in EASHL….”

This really left Esoteric up Schitt’s Creek without a paddle so he did what any dedicated teammate would do just before the playoffs…he traveled across the country without his xbox.

Eso not there ferda, which is nothing new…

This paved the way at least for Freaky to add the best player they had in the Conf finals…acknowledge Roman folks…

Once we mailed Epik 4 cases of Voodoo Ranger, we knew the defense of Renfri and Gala had no chance of stopping us. Epik after receiving the Duck “care package”.

Jokes aside, Epik was great this series and in real life he has the best hair in 239.

Bryan did make at least one wise move, putting Gala where he belongs when the games really matter…

With all the swimming the crease, i think i found where Bswims needs to take his talents…

Here we see Bslipps warming up for another series in the pipes…

Once we realized Freaky’s entire gameplan involved a game of grab ass between Wizzy and Good, this series was ez-claps and anti-climatic.

“Strategy”.

Tech Support

I know I’m supposed to gas this up bc it was the finals, but I cant, sorry. Seeing Booty and Hammer on the schedule is like the Live Laugh Love of 239, except it’s Pass (force), Push (up), Pray.

Errrrrrbody knew the strategy on how to win a series vs this team, but very few actually followed through.

• Stop the 199999999 forced one timers to BootyClappin
• Find ways to beat Jesus
• Battle through the sudden rash of “internet/connection” issues when facing this team

Let’s take a peek at the Tech Support chalkboard…

“shit boys, we’re down 2-0 early, what do we do”

or

Tech Support “Strategy”

Here we have a live look in at how Rocky’s “deke INTO the other team” approach worked out…

You guys had a good run though and made the finals with a dude using controls almost 20 years old.

Bootyclappin, otherwise known as “the wish.com version of sniper”, you do better when you got Raterle running the DDOS trap on opponents…

The Champs, Duck

Between the start of the season and the finals, everyone on the roster eventually bought into Good’s system, some taking longer than others…

Cob13

Cob was added after the draft ended, dropped when mash took over, and promptly re-added when Good game back. Regardless of his role on (and off) the team, Cob was a believer from the jump. He always had positive words in chat/party, and did his job on the ice…usually… Cob brings home his second 239 belt.

Hoots

Hoots and Cob split time on RW. When one guy had an off game/the other one always picked up the slack. There was never any animosity or ego with these two dudes. They came in, believed, did their job, and walked home with a belt. I could be wrong, but i believe RW scored the GWG in 3 of the 4 finals wins. If I’m wrong, dont care, hoots and cob still fucked this season. This is Hoots’ second 239 belt.

The Mobski

Mobski didnt have to play much, but when he did he made an impact. 2 points per game from a guy who didnt play in the postseason just shows the depth this team had. That said, he was always around for practices/warmups as needed and was willing to step in when others were potentially out. You guys are dummies for not grabbing and starting him. This is Mobski’s second 239 belt.

Xfdmx kill

I think 98% of the games i played before this season in 24 were with Kill. Going into the draft, I just wanted to be his parter, didnt care what team it was on. Why? Because he’s the best d-man in the league, plain and simple. On top of that lofty title, he is always willing to hop on and just play with 1 teammate if it helps them and the team get better. Kill is always willing to help teammates (forwards as well as dmen), make builds for guys, entertain any questions others have…all while being one of the most down to earth NON-elitist players i’ve ever encountered in chel. This is Kill’s 3rd belt in 4 seasons, just silly.

Sniper0270

Ok…let’s forget the fact that I won a belt…you pinheads let this turd win a Rocket Richard in 239! Shameful.

Kidding aside, what sniper lacks in “thumbs”, he makes up with his ability to listen to his captain, trust his teammates, do his job (unless it’s cover the point), his ability to push up, and make/manage the league’s API. Between his belts and scoring prowess, he has to be the all time greatest “bang for your BOD buck” the league has ever seen. Side note, he gave me $20 to speak highly of him here. As ScaryTerry would say, “$20 is $20. right?”. This is Sniper’s 8th 239 belt, he basically wins once every four seasons. The league is simply broken, disband it.

Me

When this team was drafted, i went into admin chat and said “good just drafted a troll team, this team cant be serious right? like kill is good, but it’s kill then all bums. this season is going to be so awful”. Then when good had to step away (i didnt know the reason) i immediately said “of course. he knew this was gonna happen so he drafted a team to troll us, what an asshole”.

TLDR, i didnt believe. i eventually did. We won, first 239 belt for me.

TheJSquad

The only number lower than squad’s gaa….was his words said per series. I think he said “hi” half the time he joined, and “thanks” every time we called out how clutch he was carrying our asses when we would stand around and watch breakways down the middle of the rink from time to time. Top 5 stats during the regular season…then in the playoffs this kid was simply lights out. Faced the most shots, made the most saves, highest save % (86%), lowest gaa (2.13), most playoff shutouts (1), most breakaway saves (3-4, 75%). How this is his FIRST 239 belt, simply doesnt make sense. It may be his first, it wont be his last.

Mashotpa

Mash was kind enough to step in and take over this team when good had to step away for a few weeks. Thanks for stepping in and keeping the team afloat while our captain was away. Now sign up and tell Kelch you’ll captain this season, thanks fam.

Imnotevengood

O captain, my captain. The stories of Good’s captain style are infamous. He has team names that make 0 sense, yells, but wins (‘cept last season). No matter the opponent or what was happening, good was a calming presence in the parties (except when someone fucked up) and smashed the “we dictate pace, we dictate play” into our head no matter what. Up 3? same approach. Down 3? Same approach. Never get too high, never get too low. No win is on someone, no loss is on someone, we do it all as a team, we all do our jobs, we’ll win the belt. Well, we did our jobs. As corny as this sounds, in 12 years of playing league, i’ve never been on a team (my own included) which had the same level of structure, communication, and consistency Good had with his team. I enjoyed every minute playing under him, furealz. This is Good’s “4th or 5th” belt. What a fucking ego….