The Shaggin Wagon has been planning the biggest 239 festival ever. AdamHayWired to everyone’s surprise had many connections in the music industry to land artists for the gig dating back to his time as a night club blowjob giver. He said he enjoyed that job, we didn’t question it. All we needed now was A LOT of drugs and then we would be ready to party.
That is where our opponent tonight comes into play, meet 239’s very own druggy drug mule.
Yes, that is Master Shotgun aka Grey Cheeto, Master Shitgun, Master Cokehead, Dumbass, etc.
We tasked him with bringing enough drugs for all of the 239 community or in his terms a normal Tuesday nights worth of drugs. Unlike updating the rosters on the site on time, this task we knew he would never let us down on.
Once he handed over the special drug shipment he got from Epstein Island, we rejected his access to joining in the fun.
239 WHO’S READY TO TURN UP?… ALLEGEDLY
before we get to the lineups here is the opening act
Lineups
Shaggin Waggon
LW – Young Kelch
C – Dradle and RW – Reep
LD – AdamHayWired (live look at him leaving the bar 1HR before series time when he found out he was playing tonight)
RD – Bc Bud
G – Weazle
vs Allegedly
Sejje – Shitter – Scary Terry
YouDoKnowRight? – Chenkov
Its Yinn
Game 1: Shaggin Wagon score the first 2 goals of this game and then EA said woah woah woah, these guys gotta listen to Shotgun giggling all night while Odd mumbles something that is his teammate was supposed to do 10 seconds before he said anything, we are giving them this 1. A few phantom cross checking penalties later and 6 trips to the box secure this game.
Final Score: 3-2 “Allegedly” a 239 team
fuck it, who’s next up to perform?
Game 2: Sejje scores short side off Weazle’s glove like 10 seconds into the game, we all know it was because he was still crowd surfing and not yet at his controller but oh well. We weren’t gonna lose this is The Shaggin Waggon 239 Festival. The boys go bonkers, scoring like 4 goals in short order. Bale’s on stream somehow was hyping me up and one local fan said this
Kelch for MVP
The Rat
That guy must have been zooted to no end, but fuck it i’ll take it. The boys make easy work in this one and even the series. Exactly as planned to make sure the crowd is treated to one hell of an event.
Final Score: 5-2 Wrap your Willy in the Shaggin Wagon
DJ Weazle drop the next beat
After Shotty finished sharing needles with the homeless man down the block he tried to sneak back into the Festival. This is how it went.
Game 3: EZ Dubs. No one cares lets just get to the final song artist of the night.
Finals Score: 17-0 TSW “Allegedly”
What a way to close down the first ever 239 Festival hosted by The Shaggin Wagon. Thank you all for getting hype with us, we do this shit for yall. We would also like to announce that while everyone on this Shaggin Wagon ride was doing lines of blows, no one here actually believes Master Shotgun is anything other than a Goalie.
GGs to Allegedly, on a positive note your season is almost half way over. Hang in there, we are all counting on you guys. Chenkov you’re gross, leave me alone. K thx.
3 Stars of the Night
1. Adam, he blew so many guys in his life that he was able to get these performers
2. Weazle dealt with 70 turds on net while DJing. Impressive
3. Shotgun for suppling the Nose Candy
Kelch out!
